Last week, I decided it was time to let the hair grow. I’d gotten past the awkward, lighter baby hair stage, and the darker, real stuff started coming in. Today, Hubs informed me I look a lot like my brother (who chooses to shave/buzz his hair). Um, thanks? 😉 Anyway, I think I’m close to passing G.I. Jane now. I’m just not sure what will come next. Will my stubby locks choose to lay flat, or will they stick up randomly? I’ll keep you posted.
*WARNING-TMI story ahead!*
Besides ditching the mohawk last week, I went to the gyne to have my thickened uterine lining bibbopsy, have my fibroids checked, and get Mirena installed. I think I’d mentioned all of that before, but if not, my uterine lining was most likely thickened because I had been using continuous birth control (the Nuva Ring) to avoid getting a period. But, we wanted to make sure. Because of the slight risk of infection, we were waiting until chemo was over to do the bibbopsy. And, since I can finally have hormonal birth control again, and because Dr. Huang was going to be “in there” already, we figured it was a good time to put Mirena in. But, we got a fun surprise.
NO! Not THAT kind of surprise! Whew! Just the opposite. My uterine lining is now thinned considerably, and my fibroids and ovaries have greatly shrunk. I’m officially menopausal! Whoopie! You’re probably wondering why bother with Mirena if the plumbing is turned off already. Well, folks, here’s the fun part of this (not): because my menopause is chemo-induced, and I’m only 43, I could go back to being pre-menopausal at any time. THEN, we could end up with that other kind of surprise, and we really don’t want that. And, lucky me, I may get to go through all of this twice!
Now, I have to say, I think I’m the only person who could have ongoing laughter during a Mirena insertion. But, let’s back up to the prep part of the procedure (because I have heard from many women whose docs don’t have them prep first, and OW!)… The night before and the morning of my appointment, I stuck tablets of misoprostol (aka, cytotec) up in my vajayjay. It works to soften the cervix, making it easier to get in there – something very key for a woman who has never had a human pass through there (loved my C-section). Also, my doc used a local anesthetic not only to help numb the area, but also pushed some of the fluid through to help gradually dilate the opening. So, the worst pain I had were a few bad cramps, but nothing traumatic. Ladies – if you’re getting Mirena, or replacing one because it’s running out of juice (progestin), make sure to ask your doctor for both the misoprostol tablets and the local anesthetic.
Anyway, on to the fun part. First, Dr. Huang realized she forgot to grab the local, so she sent the ultrasound tech out to grab some. Then, she was trying to insert a balloon to aid in the bibbopsy, but my uterus kept contracting and spitting it out. Good uterus! We don’t want anything that grows larger in there, do we? No, we don’t. Then, looking at what was on screen, she realized the bibbopsy wasn’t necessary. Now, originally, I was going to have to move to a regular room to have the Mirena put in because we didn’t want to mess up the schedule of the ultrasound tech. Well, thanks to menopause, the bibbopsy wasn’t necessary, saving time, so I got the 4 star treatment complete with visuals for my Mirena installation. But, the setup for that was all in another room. So, Dr. Huang sent the tech out (again) to get a Mirena.
Just as the doc was getting the Mirena ready to go (it gets inserted via a tube with a slider thingie – google it), she said, “Oops. I’m going to need another one of these.” I asked if she dropped it. She said, “No, but I accidentally deployed it.” As the tech was running out to get another one, doc said, “Yep, premature deployment.” I said, “Oh, now, premature deployment with anything regarding this area is never a good thing.” Of course, we both cracked up and were still laughing by the time I walked out of there. I tell ya, only I could have such a fun time at the gynecologist’s office.
Original Comments from the CaringBridge Blog:
Hilarious!
—Susan Rosenthal, September 20, 2015