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My Cancer Story

Fuck Cancer

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  • This is the Story…
  • 2015
    • March 2015
      • Fuck Cancer – CaringBridge Introduction
      • So, It’s Lymphoma – March 31, 2015
    • April 2015
      • Flowers for Deb – April 2, 2015
      • Another Day, Another Biopsy – April 4, 2015
      • Quack Quack – April 8, 2015
      • New Do and a Portacath – April 10, 2015
      • Coming At You Live from Treatment Room 25! – April 13, 2015
      • Now For the Good Stuff – April 13, 2015
      • And…. We’re Done! – April 13, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 6 – Cycle 1, Part 2 – April 14, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 9! – April 15, 2015
      • Look Good Feel Better – April 15, 2015
      • Update and Wig Day – April 16, 2015
      • Wig Play – April 16, 1015
      • Relatively C-Free Weekend – April 18, 2015
      • Port Draw Day – April 21, 2015
      • Better Today April – 22, 2015
      • That Moment When “Personal Grooming” Ceases To Be An Issue – April 25, 2015
      • Today’s the Day April – 26, 2015
      • Bus Stop Baldness Reveal – April 28, 2015
    • May 2015
      • Accessorize! – May 3, 2015
      • Live from Treatment Room 9! – May 5, 2015
      • Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig – May 5, 2015
      • Neulasta Appointment – May 7, 2015
      • Pulled an All-Nighter – May 12, 2015
      • Things of Note – May 12, 2015
      • I Remain in Custody – May 12, 2015
      • The Latest From Room 5012 – May 12, 2015
      • Some Things Can’t Be Unseen – May 12, 2015
      • Freedom!!! – May 13, 2015
      • Well, Crap! – May 13, 2015
      • Back and Forth and Still Here – May 13, 2015
      • I’m Bustin’ Out! – May 14, 2015
      • I’m Fine – May 18, 2015
      • Cheers! – May 19, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 21! – May 26, 2015
      • She Made It! – May 26, 2015
      • Needles, Needles Everywhere – May 27, 2015
      • Crazy Brows – May 28, 2015
      • Lashing Out – May 30, 2015
    • June 2015
      • Crash Into Me – June 1, 2015
      • And I’m Free, I’m Free Fallin’ – June 3, 2015
      • Spoke Too Soon – June 4, 2015
      • Hot Child in the Suburbs – June 5, 2015
      • PET Scan – June 11, 2015
      • PET Scan Results – June 12, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 19 – June 15, 2015
      • Round 4, continued – June 15, 2015
      • Needledeedledee – June 16, 2015
      • Blech Day – June 17, 2015
      • Bump in the Road – June 18, 2015
      • Waiting for Godot – June 18, 2015
      • Homeward Bound – June 18, 2015
      • R&R – June 19, 2015
      • Deb and The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day – June 23, 2015
      • Chillin’ – Retro Style – June 24, 2015
      • Housekeeping – June 24, 2015
      • Housekeeping – June 24, 2015
      • Chillin’ – Retro Style – June 24, 2015
      • Deb and The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day – June 23, 2015
      • Mail Bag – June 25, 2015
      • Zzzzzzzz – June 29, 2015
      • Closer to Fine – June 27, 2015
    • July 2015
      • Doesn’t it Figure? July 6, 2015
      • Live from treatment room 6! – July 7, 2015
      • Back Home – July 7, 2015
      • Good Day So Far – July 8, 2015
      • Great Day – July 8, 2015
      • Polar Opposite – July 9, 2015
      • Tasteless – July 10, 2015
      • Owie – July 11, 2015
      • A Horse of a Different Color – July 13, 2015
      • Adventures in Neutropenia – July 14, 2015
      • Fire-Free – July 14, 2015
      • Chillin’ – July 15, 2015
      • False Advertising – July 16, 2015
      • Chemo Head as Art – July 25, 2015
      • Live from Treatment Room 16 – July 27, 2015
      • L’Chiam! – July 27, 2015
      • Thoughts On My Last Treatment Day – July 28, 2015
      • Fuckity Fuck Fuck – July 30, 2015
      • A Bit Better – July 31, 2015
      • My Haunted Leg – July 31, 2015
    • August 2015
      • Fire Watch – August 2, 2015
      • Yep – August 2, 2015
      • Definite Incineration – August 3, 2015
      • Prisoner – August 3, 2015
      • Incineration Continues – August 4, 2015
      • Sunset, Day 2 – August 4, 2015
      • On Hair – August 4, 2015
      • Going…. Going… – August 5, 2015
      • Gone! – August 5, 2015
      • Back in the Saddle Again! – August 18, 2015
      • Live From the Nuclear Dungeon – August 20, 2015
      • Better Images – August 27, 2015
      • CANCER FREE(ish?) – August 24, 2015
    • September 2015
      • Ow! – September 2, 2015
      • Po’ Hawk – September 11, 2015
      • No Hawk – September 15, 2015
      • Can’t Do Math – September 15, 2015
      • Definite Progress – September 19, 2015
      • Step by Step – September 24, 2015
      • Not Totally Random – September 20, 2015
    • October 2015
      • Lashes! – October 1, 2015
      • Live from Sbux – October 7, 2015
      • Lumps & Bumps – October 20, 2015
      • The C-Word – October 27, 2015
    • November 2015
      • Hair! – November 10, 2015
      • Here Piggy Piggy – November 21, 2015
      • HaaallelUjah! HaaallelUjah! HallelUjah! HallelUjah! HalleeeluuujAH! – November 24, 2015
    • December 2015
      • Endings, Beginnings, and Mergings – December 13, 2015
      • Deported! – Dec 14, 2015
      • Season’s Greetings, Urinator Update, and More – Dec 23, 2015
      • First Haircut! – Dec 30, 2015
  • 2016
    • One Year Later… – Feb 19, 2016
    • Another Follow Up Visit with Alla – March 6, 2016
    • Meow Scan – May 31, 2016
    • Rockstar and Red Beans – Sep 11, 2016
    • Housekeeping – Nov 5, 2016
    • One Helluva Week (and a Half) – Dec 16, 2016
    • Checkup Time! – Mar 14, 2017
  • 2017
    • Clearing My Plate – Dec 15, 2017
    • Checkup: Check! – Aug 29, 2017
  • Epilogue – 2020
  • Other Stuff
    • BiselBlog
    • Deb Moran Photography
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Lumps & Bumps – October 20, 2015

Let me start by saying, “I’m fine.” Though, a week ago, I wasn’t so sure (though I didn’t say anything until now, lest I cause unnecessary worry beyond my own mentality – emphasis on mental). I had a swollen gland below my right earlobe and one on the back of my neck, plus some oozing things on my right earlobe and at the top of my back/bottom of my neck. I debated about messaging Dr. Alla, and held off until Google got the better of me. I emailed her, describing my lumps and bumps + oozing. After a panic-filled, sleepless night, she replied that it sounded like an infection and I should see my PCP.

I did miss Dr. Christopolous. We’d grown quite close over the months of trying to diagnose me. We had even been on texting terms! Heck, she was on vacay the day I got my diagnosis, and called me from her cell (I yelled at her for checking her messages while on vacation). Anyway, it figures I’d have something juicy to show her (get it – oozing – juicy?) now. A checkup would just seem so mundane. Anyway, she looked, palpated, and squeezed, and decided I had a bit of impetigo (on my earlobe) with the added bonus of a sebaceous cyst. I wanted to believe her, but really had a hard time. I took my scrip for Bactrim, and went on my merry way. I mean, what would be the odds that I’d have those two different processes going on? I couldn’t believe that Occam’s razor would lead to any other option than a recurrence of cancer. Google said so. Yes, I know I should know better, but I did look to reputable links, like Mayo and NIH. I always do.

Much to my surprise, I was markedly improved within 24 hours, and mostly back to normal in a couple days. Still, I went for my follow up today (and to finally get my long overdue cholesterol screening done). I figured it would have been rude to show up empty handed, so I presented dear doc with a lump I found on the left side of my torso. Again with the palpating and squeezing. This time she asked me when my next scan is (trigger strangely cheerful feelings of denial). Then, she said it didn’t feel like lymphoma, and seemed more like a lipoma (a what-a?). A clump of fatty cells (hmm… guess that explains my ass?). She popped out to pull up my record on a bigger screen and look at my original CT. I was smart enough to stay off Google, and Facebooked while I waited. When she came back, she told me that it was definitely there on my original CT scan from before my diagnosis, and is definitely a lipoma. Cue tears of relief.

While I feel great, physically (except for funky knees and feet), it’s so difficult not to think every little lump and bump is cancer. The fucker can be in remission. I could even be cured of it, but I wonder if it’ll ever really be gone. Will a swollen gland just be a swollen gland, doing its job? I know some of you reading this have also kicked cancer’s ass. I’d love it if you’d weigh in on this one.

On a lighter note, I have some very interesting hair growth with my bangs. Well, not really bangs, but the beginnings of bangs. They’re weird. On the left (your right in the pic), they’re coming forward – just like I envision for the pixie I’m planning. On the right (your left) it’s kind of swooping up and over. Like it wants to be an Ace Ventura ‘do, or something. I’m a bit worried about what this is going to look like in the coming months. And, I’m now reminded of the struggles I had with bangs never looking right, and why I grew them out. Growing my hair back out is definitely more awkward than shaving it off.


Original Comments from the CaringBridge Blog:

You’re beautiful Deb
—Adrienne Meyer, October 22, 2015

Anxiety can be a bitch! Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
—Susan Rosenthal, October 21, 2015

The C-Word – October 27, 2015 →

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