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My Cancer Story

Fuck Cancer

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  • This is the Story…
  • 2015
    • March 2015
      • Fuck Cancer – CaringBridge Introduction
      • So, It’s Lymphoma – March 31, 2015
    • April 2015
      • Flowers for Deb – April 2, 2015
      • Another Day, Another Biopsy – April 4, 2015
      • Quack Quack – April 8, 2015
      • New Do and a Portacath – April 10, 2015
      • Coming At You Live from Treatment Room 25! – April 13, 2015
      • Now For the Good Stuff – April 13, 2015
      • And…. We’re Done! – April 13, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 6 – Cycle 1, Part 2 – April 14, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 9! – April 15, 2015
      • Look Good Feel Better – April 15, 2015
      • Update and Wig Day – April 16, 2015
      • Wig Play – April 16, 1015
      • Relatively C-Free Weekend – April 18, 2015
      • Port Draw Day – April 21, 2015
      • Better Today April – 22, 2015
      • That Moment When “Personal Grooming” Ceases To Be An Issue – April 25, 2015
      • Today’s the Day April – 26, 2015
      • Bus Stop Baldness Reveal – April 28, 2015
    • May 2015
      • Accessorize! – May 3, 2015
      • Live from Treatment Room 9! – May 5, 2015
      • Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig – May 5, 2015
      • Neulasta Appointment – May 7, 2015
      • Pulled an All-Nighter – May 12, 2015
      • Things of Note – May 12, 2015
      • I Remain in Custody – May 12, 2015
      • The Latest From Room 5012 – May 12, 2015
      • Some Things Can’t Be Unseen – May 12, 2015
      • Freedom!!! – May 13, 2015
      • Well, Crap! – May 13, 2015
      • Back and Forth and Still Here – May 13, 2015
      • I’m Bustin’ Out! – May 14, 2015
      • I’m Fine – May 18, 2015
      • Cheers! – May 19, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 21! – May 26, 2015
      • She Made It! – May 26, 2015
      • Needles, Needles Everywhere – May 27, 2015
      • Crazy Brows – May 28, 2015
      • Lashing Out – May 30, 2015
    • June 2015
      • Crash Into Me – June 1, 2015
      • And I’m Free, I’m Free Fallin’ – June 3, 2015
      • Spoke Too Soon – June 4, 2015
      • Hot Child in the Suburbs – June 5, 2015
      • PET Scan – June 11, 2015
      • PET Scan Results – June 12, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 19 – June 15, 2015
      • Round 4, continued – June 15, 2015
      • Needledeedledee – June 16, 2015
      • Blech Day – June 17, 2015
      • Bump in the Road – June 18, 2015
      • Waiting for Godot – June 18, 2015
      • Homeward Bound – June 18, 2015
      • R&R – June 19, 2015
      • Deb and The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day – June 23, 2015
      • Chillin’ – Retro Style – June 24, 2015
      • Housekeeping – June 24, 2015
      • Housekeeping – June 24, 2015
      • Chillin’ – Retro Style – June 24, 2015
      • Deb and The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day – June 23, 2015
      • Mail Bag – June 25, 2015
      • Zzzzzzzz – June 29, 2015
      • Closer to Fine – June 27, 2015
    • July 2015
      • Doesn’t it Figure? July 6, 2015
      • Live from treatment room 6! – July 7, 2015
      • Back Home – July 7, 2015
      • Good Day So Far – July 8, 2015
      • Great Day – July 8, 2015
      • Polar Opposite – July 9, 2015
      • Tasteless – July 10, 2015
      • Owie – July 11, 2015
      • A Horse of a Different Color – July 13, 2015
      • Adventures in Neutropenia – July 14, 2015
      • Fire-Free – July 14, 2015
      • Chillin’ – July 15, 2015
      • False Advertising – July 16, 2015
      • Chemo Head as Art – July 25, 2015
      • Live from Treatment Room 16 – July 27, 2015
      • L’Chiam! – July 27, 2015
      • Thoughts On My Last Treatment Day – July 28, 2015
      • Fuckity Fuck Fuck – July 30, 2015
      • A Bit Better – July 31, 2015
      • My Haunted Leg – July 31, 2015
    • August 2015
      • Fire Watch – August 2, 2015
      • Yep – August 2, 2015
      • Definite Incineration – August 3, 2015
      • Prisoner – August 3, 2015
      • Incineration Continues – August 4, 2015
      • Sunset, Day 2 – August 4, 2015
      • On Hair – August 4, 2015
      • Going…. Going… – August 5, 2015
      • Gone! – August 5, 2015
      • Back in the Saddle Again! – August 18, 2015
      • Live From the Nuclear Dungeon – August 20, 2015
      • Better Images – August 27, 2015
      • CANCER FREE(ish?) – August 24, 2015
    • September 2015
      • Ow! – September 2, 2015
      • Po’ Hawk – September 11, 2015
      • No Hawk – September 15, 2015
      • Can’t Do Math – September 15, 2015
      • Definite Progress – September 19, 2015
      • Step by Step – September 24, 2015
      • Not Totally Random – September 20, 2015
    • October 2015
      • Lashes! – October 1, 2015
      • Live from Sbux – October 7, 2015
      • Lumps & Bumps – October 20, 2015
      • The C-Word – October 27, 2015
    • November 2015
      • Hair! – November 10, 2015
      • Here Piggy Piggy – November 21, 2015
      • HaaallelUjah! HaaallelUjah! HallelUjah! HallelUjah! HalleeeluuujAH! – November 24, 2015
    • December 2015
      • Endings, Beginnings, and Mergings – December 13, 2015
      • Deported! – Dec 14, 2015
      • Season’s Greetings, Urinator Update, and More – Dec 23, 2015
      • First Haircut! – Dec 30, 2015
  • 2016
    • One Year Later… – Feb 19, 2016
    • Another Follow Up Visit with Alla – March 6, 2016
    • Meow Scan – May 31, 2016
    • Rockstar and Red Beans – Sep 11, 2016
    • Housekeeping – Nov 5, 2016
    • One Helluva Week (and a Half) – Dec 16, 2016
    • Checkup Time! – Mar 14, 2017
  • 2017
    • Clearing My Plate – Dec 15, 2017
    • Checkup: Check! – Aug 29, 2017
  • Epilogue – 2020
  • Other Stuff
    • BiselBlog
    • Deb Moran Photography
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No Hawk – September 15, 2015

As much as I loved it, I’ve decided it’s time to ditch the mohawk. When the cranial 5 o’clock shadow started looking darker, I thought perhaps it was a sign to let my hair grow. I have to admit, there’s a part of me that does not want to grow it. It’s been so freeing to not have to worry about doing my hair. Even when I had to draw in my eyebrows, taking up extra prep time, not having hair all summer has been a joy. Plus, I think I’m pretty damn hot as a baldy, which I never would have expected. But, on the other hand, it’ll be nice to not have my head be a mosquito buffet. And, as the temps start to drop, being bald isn’t such a great thing. I now understand a bit of what Hubs goes through every winter.

Anyway, I think I’d like to have some hair when we embark on our Western Caribbean cruise in January. If I start now, I should have about 4 inches to work with by then. 4 inches might not seem like much for a neutropenis, but it’s a good start for hair. I’m just now starting to look at short hairdos online. I’ve found a few I like. Unfortunately, they’re straight hairstyles. I’m thinking chemo curls might pose a bit more of a challenge. We will have to see. But, for now, I’m sporting the G.I. Jane look (though my head looks much shinier in the glare of Starbucks lighting). At least, until it gets even colder. Then, I think I’ll be back to bandanas for a while.


Seeing as the hair is working on a comeback, and I’m happy with my brow progress (though they look awfully light in the photo here), I decided to see if I’m ready for mascara. Um. No. I think it just made 3 or 4 lashes look dark, and that’s about all. Though, when I looked closely, I could see stubby lashes starting to make an appearance, so I’m hoping hope is just around the corner.

Yesterday, I called up Kellogg to make appointments to get my port flushed a couple more times, and for my next meeting with Alla (November 24th). I also scheduled my PET scan for the day before that. I’m looking forward to a very thankful Thanksgiving.

Finally, I’ve decided to go ahead and make this blog as public as Caring Bridge allows. That means that logging in is no longer necessary to view my site. However, anyone wanting to receive notifications whenever I post an update will still have to register on the site. And it’s not google-able. So, if you know anyone going through any kind of cancer diagnosis, feel free to share a link back here, with a note to start at the beginning.  **BiselBlog note: The original pages are still on CaringBridge. You can search by my name. Though, I believe that they require everyone to have an account now, regardless of individual blog settings.

Original Comments from the CaringBridge Blog:

I actually shared with a friend of a friend about reading your experience as she is just starting her journey. Thanks for sharing your experience and letting us be part of it. You are an amazing person!!!
—Amy Kingan, September 15, 2015

Your story, your wit, and your heart come through loud and clear, Deb. Thanks for making this public for those who need to read it. And here’s hoping for 4 inches by January! 🙂
—Lynette, September 15, 2015

I’m really glad you are making your blog public. Your story, told with such beautiful writing, will no doubt help many people going through a similar ordeal.
—Loretta Annex, September 15, 2015

Can’t Do Math – September 15, 2015 →

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