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My Cancer Story

Fuck Cancer

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  • This is the Story…
  • 2015
    • March 2015
      • Fuck Cancer – CaringBridge Introduction
      • So, It’s Lymphoma – March 31, 2015
    • April 2015
      • Flowers for Deb – April 2, 2015
      • Another Day, Another Biopsy – April 4, 2015
      • Quack Quack – April 8, 2015
      • New Do and a Portacath – April 10, 2015
      • Coming At You Live from Treatment Room 25! – April 13, 2015
      • Now For the Good Stuff – April 13, 2015
      • And…. We’re Done! – April 13, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 6 – Cycle 1, Part 2 – April 14, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 9! – April 15, 2015
      • Look Good Feel Better – April 15, 2015
      • Update and Wig Day – April 16, 2015
      • Wig Play – April 16, 1015
      • Relatively C-Free Weekend – April 18, 2015
      • Port Draw Day – April 21, 2015
      • Better Today April – 22, 2015
      • That Moment When “Personal Grooming” Ceases To Be An Issue – April 25, 2015
      • Today’s the Day April – 26, 2015
      • Bus Stop Baldness Reveal – April 28, 2015
    • May 2015
      • Accessorize! – May 3, 2015
      • Live from Treatment Room 9! – May 5, 2015
      • Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig – May 5, 2015
      • Neulasta Appointment – May 7, 2015
      • Pulled an All-Nighter – May 12, 2015
      • Things of Note – May 12, 2015
      • I Remain in Custody – May 12, 2015
      • The Latest From Room 5012 – May 12, 2015
      • Some Things Can’t Be Unseen – May 12, 2015
      • Freedom!!! – May 13, 2015
      • Well, Crap! – May 13, 2015
      • Back and Forth and Still Here – May 13, 2015
      • I’m Bustin’ Out! – May 14, 2015
      • I’m Fine – May 18, 2015
      • Cheers! – May 19, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 21! – May 26, 2015
      • She Made It! – May 26, 2015
      • Needles, Needles Everywhere – May 27, 2015
      • Crazy Brows – May 28, 2015
      • Lashing Out – May 30, 2015
    • June 2015
      • Crash Into Me – June 1, 2015
      • And I’m Free, I’m Free Fallin’ – June 3, 2015
      • Spoke Too Soon – June 4, 2015
      • Hot Child in the Suburbs – June 5, 2015
      • PET Scan – June 11, 2015
      • PET Scan Results – June 12, 2015
      • Live From Treatment Room 19 – June 15, 2015
      • Round 4, continued – June 15, 2015
      • Needledeedledee – June 16, 2015
      • Blech Day – June 17, 2015
      • Bump in the Road – June 18, 2015
      • Waiting for Godot – June 18, 2015
      • Homeward Bound – June 18, 2015
      • R&R – June 19, 2015
      • Deb and The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day – June 23, 2015
      • Chillin’ – Retro Style – June 24, 2015
      • Housekeeping – June 24, 2015
      • Housekeeping – June 24, 2015
      • Chillin’ – Retro Style – June 24, 2015
      • Deb and The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day – June 23, 2015
      • Mail Bag – June 25, 2015
      • Zzzzzzzz – June 29, 2015
      • Closer to Fine – June 27, 2015
    • July 2015
      • Doesn’t it Figure? July 6, 2015
      • Live from treatment room 6! – July 7, 2015
      • Back Home – July 7, 2015
      • Good Day So Far – July 8, 2015
      • Great Day – July 8, 2015
      • Polar Opposite – July 9, 2015
      • Tasteless – July 10, 2015
      • Owie – July 11, 2015
      • A Horse of a Different Color – July 13, 2015
      • Adventures in Neutropenia – July 14, 2015
      • Fire-Free – July 14, 2015
      • Chillin’ – July 15, 2015
      • False Advertising – July 16, 2015
      • Chemo Head as Art – July 25, 2015
      • Live from Treatment Room 16 – July 27, 2015
      • L’Chiam! – July 27, 2015
      • Thoughts On My Last Treatment Day – July 28, 2015
      • Fuckity Fuck Fuck – July 30, 2015
      • A Bit Better – July 31, 2015
      • My Haunted Leg – July 31, 2015
    • August 2015
      • Fire Watch – August 2, 2015
      • Yep – August 2, 2015
      • Definite Incineration – August 3, 2015
      • Prisoner – August 3, 2015
      • Incineration Continues – August 4, 2015
      • Sunset, Day 2 – August 4, 2015
      • On Hair – August 4, 2015
      • Going…. Going… – August 5, 2015
      • Gone! – August 5, 2015
      • Back in the Saddle Again! – August 18, 2015
      • Live From the Nuclear Dungeon – August 20, 2015
      • Better Images – August 27, 2015
      • CANCER FREE(ish?) – August 24, 2015
    • September 2015
      • Ow! – September 2, 2015
      • Po’ Hawk – September 11, 2015
      • No Hawk – September 15, 2015
      • Can’t Do Math – September 15, 2015
      • Definite Progress – September 19, 2015
      • Step by Step – September 24, 2015
      • Not Totally Random – September 20, 2015
    • October 2015
      • Lashes! – October 1, 2015
      • Live from Sbux – October 7, 2015
      • Lumps & Bumps – October 20, 2015
      • The C-Word – October 27, 2015
    • November 2015
      • Hair! – November 10, 2015
      • Here Piggy Piggy – November 21, 2015
      • HaaallelUjah! HaaallelUjah! HallelUjah! HallelUjah! HalleeeluuujAH! – November 24, 2015
    • December 2015
      • Endings, Beginnings, and Mergings – December 13, 2015
      • Deported! – Dec 14, 2015
      • Season’s Greetings, Urinator Update, and More – Dec 23, 2015
      • First Haircut! – Dec 30, 2015
  • 2016
    • One Year Later… – Feb 19, 2016
    • Another Follow Up Visit with Alla – March 6, 2016
    • Meow Scan – May 31, 2016
    • Rockstar and Red Beans – Sep 11, 2016
    • Housekeeping – Nov 5, 2016
    • One Helluva Week (and a Half) – Dec 16, 2016
    • Checkup Time! – Mar 14, 2017
  • 2017
    • Clearing My Plate – Dec 15, 2017
    • Checkup: Check! – Aug 29, 2017
  • Epilogue – 2020
  • Other Stuff
    • BiselBlog
    • Deb Moran Photography
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She Made It! – May 26, 2015

Before I tell you about today’s special guest, I would like to share a great little run-in I had in a bathroom at the podiatrist’s office (incidentally, the podiatrist is the brother of today’s special guest, but he doesn’t read this, so I’m not going to bother giving him a named shout out). I was waiting for Mere to wash her hands when a woman came out of the stall, and when she saw my sexy bald head (most days now, it’s too warm for even a bandana, and I love trying to catch people staring), she said, “I used to have that same hairstyle a couple of years ago.” With a smile, I said, “Good for you!” We chatted a bit before leaving. It was nice. It’s funny, too, because sometimes, you can even tell a current or former cancer patient by the smile of recognition and camaraderie. Another little story – I was at P.F. Chang’s with my parents a while back, and though I was wearing a bandana, and still had eyebrows and lashes, for anyone with a clue, it was pretty obvious that I was going through chemo. A few women walked past our table and one smiled at me. I told my mom, “She had cancer. I can tell by the way she smiled at me.” My mom knew just what I meant. It’s a big club that no one wants to join, but damn if we don’t support each other. 🙂

Back to the present. No, Margo, it’s not Babs – even better! My oldest and dearest BFF, Sia, is here today (delayed by traffic I can only assume was slowed due to anticipation of the pending rain storm). All we do is laugh (Fig. 1 & Fig. 2). Seriously, pass the Depends. We joke nonstop about my cancer, my baldness, etc. etc. I know you all will get it (in the wake of the penis issue), but so many people think there’s something wrong with us.

Case in point: text convo with my brother (Fig. 3).

Fig. 3 – I cracked myself up, but I guess my magiCOMEDIAN brother didn’t find it so amusing.

Other than running a little late, everything is going well today. I’ve graduated from the 50mg of IV Benadryl to 25 oral, because at this point, the chance of reaction from the Rituxan is so low. I’ve been totally awake, raging on my 100mg of prednisone from this morning. The great part of that is that I haven’t missed any of my visit with Sia due to the drunken, narcoleptic effect of the IV administration of benadryl. Another bonus – I got to totally enjoy lunch – chicken gyros followed by my mom’s famous cheesecake. Mom – Sia said to tell you it’s fantastic (or some complimentary word like that – I blame chemo brain for my inability to remember what was said less than an hour ago).

One of my chemo drugs, Cytoxan, has a fun kicker – I get an insane tingling/stinging in my nose. So, that’s fun. But, once it runs through, I’m fine. And remember that red stuff I showed you during my first cycle? It turns out, the reason they push it via syringe, rather than letting go through the pump, is so the nurse can closely monitor placement via aspiration (drawing back on the syringe plunger to make sure there’s blood return) because if for any reason (blown vein, needle pops out, whatever), the stuff touches any other tissue, it causes SEVERE damage. Like, eat your skin damage. Destroy your muscle damage. Yeah. That’s what they mean when they say chemo drugs are toxic.

For whatever reason, the iPad/iPhone app for CaringBridge will only let me add one photo to a post. Nor will it let me see more than one when viewing a post, so if you’re on the app, as opposed to a regular, full site browser window, do yourself a favor (or at least, humor me) and click on the photos menu so you can see all four photos from today (and any others you may have missed along the way). Anyway, I’m posting this one from my Chromebook, so I can add multiple photos. And Adam seemed to think there was something wrong with me sitting here, having three different devices connected to the internet (Fig. 4).

Fig. 4 - I see nothing wrong with this setup. Nothing at all.
Fig. 4 – I see nothing wrong with this setup. Nothing at all.

They all work, so in my mind, there’s no problem. 🙂 I used the EOSRemote app on the iPad to frame and take the photos of Sia and myself, plus transfer, and brighten/watermark the photos I took with the camera, and I had the screen capture I had to transfer from the phone. So not only is it not wrong, it was necessary. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

*Note – if you’re reading this on BiselBlog.com, ignore the part about viewing in the CaringBridge app.

Original Comments from the CaringBridge Blog:

Yes, it is a big club that no one wants to join. But once your in, there is a lot of support from everywhere! From what I have read, it sounds like you are doing great. I love the positive attitude and keep it up. Your posts are awesome, as they only can be considering the content and the author!
—Michelle Johnson, June 11, 2015

Deb, I’m on comment break due to the beyond measurable exhaustion of this new puppy. Waking up in the middle of the night is NOT for people my age. I’ll be back….no fears. And truth be known, not many gene pools have OUR sense of humor!!!!!
—margo barbakow, May 27, 2015

Your posts are hilarious! !!! Love the way you write and your outlook on everything. Keep it going! !!
—michelle golden, May 26, 2015

You are just some kind of wonderful Kid!!! Yes, there are GREAT people out there–Thanks for the stories! Hugs to all of you!
—jo Wilken, May 26, 2015

I can’t get past the part where you say that I came to visit and then you start talking about a run in you had in the washroom. Um thank you? Glad I triggered your washroom incident. I had fun hanging out with you, the time went by too fast. Sorry for the quick comment but we’re heading out for the football game or is it baseball? We’ll see how long it takes my kids to figure out what they’re watching. I hope the nurses didn’t flag me to keep me out of your room 😉 Mrs. K the cheesecake was delicious, I even brought my own fork.
—sia serpico, May 26, 2015

Needles, Needles Everywhere – May 27, 2015 →

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